Jerry and the Delivery Man: The Continuing Saga of the Coffin in My Dining Room

Strangely enough, the coffin in my dining room has become something of a character in my mind. I'm not one to give life to many inanimate objects, but hey why not. So here is the continuing saga of the coffin in my dining room. He has become quite comfortable in imparting his stories to me of what happens in the house while I'm not around. So if you're in for an adventure, please read on.

Jerry, the name my coffin has taken to calling himself these days, I think he's heard one too many trailers for the new Fright Night movie myself, stands alone in the dining room longing to have company. Even with the addition of a new Living Dead Doll, he wasn't happy with this arrangement. Evidently the new doll isn't getting along with the other dolls. Jerry assumes it has something to do with her green skin, but the other dolls aren't talking to him either. So this makes him lonely.

One day while the owners of the house were out and he was left staring at the border collie/lab mix trying to tell her to sit, someone knocked on the door. He jumped sending the mini-coffins inside of him flying across the room until they hit the wall. The sudden shrieks of the plastic dolls didn't faze him. Instead, he thumped through the dining room and into the living room. He heard the voice of someone on the other side of the front door, and prayed that person would come in.

The dogs barked around him probably frightening whoever was on the other side of the door. Praying with all his might to be able to open the door, somehow the gods of wood heard his prayer and the door swung open. Jerry backed away from the door and let the delivery man into the house.

The human looked familiar but he wasn't sure where he had seen him before. Maybe the owner of the house had had him inside the dining room before. He was carrying a box holding something, books, Jerry assumed for the owner of the house.

"Hello. Anyone home?" the delivery man called.

The dogs had continued to bark, but Jerry was blocking their way. The human grew paler by the second because he realized that no one was inside the house. Jerry leaned forward and his door swung open.

"Helloo....." Jerry's voice came from inside. He'd been holding his breath for so long he wasn't sure that he would be able to talk any

"I have a package for you."

Jerry tried to talk again, but nothing else came from the bowels of his interior. Angry and saddened by this he tried desperately to communicate again with the delivery man. When he moved, the human jumped and dropped his package.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked.

Jerry's door opened wider, inviting the delivery man to come into the confines of his hardwood interior. A scream let loose from them man's lips and he fell back against the wall hard. A splotch of red marred the beige paint of the living room walls and the delivery man began to slip down the wall. Jerry was disappointed. He hadn't wanted to scare the poor man to death. He just wanted some company. The dogs sniffed the now dead man and then backed away as the Living Dead Dolls marched into the room being called by the scent of fresh blood.

Those blood thirsty cretins can't have him yet. I have to show the owner of the house that I was good and that she had a package. At least until then, the body will be preserved. Jerry surrounded the delivery man and blocked his body from the dolls.

They stared at him. "Hungry."

"No eating. Not until the owner returns. Help me get him inside of me." Jerry told the dolls.

The dolls cried out, but they didn't argue with him because he provided them shelter and a warm place to sleep where they were all together. Jerry wobbled back into the dining room and resumed his place against the wall. The Living Dead Dolls carried the body and propped him up inside Jerry's wooden walls. They even set the package in his hands again. Jerry felt a deep sense of satisfaction for having a body inside of him because that was what he had been constructed for.

Content for now, he drifted off into a light sleep. Soon the was roused from his slumber by the barking dogs. Wooden floor boards creaked. The owner of the house was home. Knowing she would be proud of him, he yawned open his door to show her the surprise inside. A scream filled the room.

Jerry knew she would come around soon and be pleased he had preserved the delivery man. Besides, it wasn't like she had to get rid of the body. The dolls would do that for her.

Tune in next week to see what hi jinx Jerry gets himself into.