Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ten things not to do when making chocolate penises.

Yesterday I had two awesome authors- Alexandra Christian & Siobhan Kincaide-stop over and assist me in constructing chocolate penises for giveaways at FandomFest this coming weekend. Only for the adults mind you. But while forming these delectable male genitalia, I have learned a few things you should not do and wanted to share.

1. Don't think just because the chocolate penis is hard that it can be substituted for the real thing. (Hey I'm sure people have tried, but ...I wouldn't recommend it.)

2. Don't leave the hot chocolate penises out on the counter or your dog might decide to eat them.

3. Don't forget to add the cream filling before you add the second layer of chocolate or you end up with a gooey mess.

4. When done, don't let any children get a hold of the dicks on a stick because....well that just is so wrong.

5. Don't tell your husband you prefer the chocolate cock over his.

6. When sucking on the male genitalia in public, don't start making pleasure noises unless you truly want people to stare at you and think you are insane. But hey if it knocks yours socks off, go right ahead.

7. Don't give these chocolates to your grandmother for her birthday unless she's cool like that.

8. Don't think you won't get comments on facebook about your activity if you are posting pictures. Because people really have twisted minds.

9. Don't assume just because you like chocolate penises that everyone else does. Because some might want chocolate boobs. I don't have those molds so anyone that is expecting them to go with the dicks you're SOL.

10. Last, but not least, if you don't like what I have to say you are not invited to my house to make chocolate man parts with me.

I hope you enjoyed this little not to do list. Please come again.

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