Friday, January 29, 2010

Vampires 101

Vampires do you want one and a guide to keep them.

1. Tall, handsome man who loves cemeteries and enjoys brooding.
2. Make sure he's sunlight resistant or be careful.
3. Don't have any pointy wooden objects in the house. And just to be on the safe side, hide all the crosses just in case he might be allergic to them.
4.Have the soil of his homeland nearby in case he has to have his daily rest.
5. Offer him the freshest red refreshment he wants.
6. Lock the shutters so no light comes in when he's sleeping.
7. Prepare the most fabulous coffin. He wouldn't want some pink chiffon lined wooded box that was left over from the 1880's
8.Have plenty of reading material that isn't vampire related.
9. Smash all the mirrors before he comes in.
10. Finally, make sure he has a wonderful view of your neck in case he wants a quick snack.

I hope you've enjoyed my class today. Please come back next time.
You're homework is to go out and write a 500 word essay on how to be the most perfect minion.

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